As much as my belly expands when it sees a pregnant woman, or my uterus contracts when it comes close to a newborn baby, or my arms itch to cuddle a gurgling infant, it seems rash and ill-advised to pursue the fourth child. Husband and I are 40 and 39 years old respectively later this year. By the time this child graduates from high school, we will both be very close to 60 years old, which is a sobering thought. Friend SJ, who is a fertility specialist regularly says to me, "You have three beautiful healthy children. Why risk having another at such an advanced age? In addition, another friend half-jokingly said to me, "Having yet another child would dramatically increase your family's carbon footprint."
Counter to all the arguments lies the knowledge that I will live with regret. The bigger question is wondering whether I want to live with this regret for the remainder of my life. I think that most people live with regrets over the choices that they've made or reactions to situations. I am now trying to come to terms with the idea of regret. I simply hold on to this regret for the time being. Hopefully with continuing wisdom and time, regret will begin to fade and really become nothing more than the faint memory of a wish once made long ago.
This pretty green MMC (Matcha Mochi Cake) was made with the thoughts of future and coming to peace with my decisions. This is my second attempt at the recipe. Although I thought the first one was pretty good, I wanted to make sure that I could make the matcha flavor sing in the cake. The color and flavor is very much like green tea ice cream, or green tea frappucino.
One warning - I think the matcha powder has some caffeine properties, because after I ate too many pieces of this, I could not sleep that night.
Matcha Mochi Cake (Green Tea Mochi Cake)
adapted from Gourmet Magazine | May 2005
Makes one 9X13 pan, or 24 squares
1 lb box of mochiko flour (3 cups equivalent)
2 1/2 cups of sugar
2 teaspoons of baking powder
4 teaspoons of matcha powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 14 oz cans of coconut milk - not lowfat
1 12 oz can evaporated milk
5 large eggs
1 stick of butter (1/2 cup of butter) melted and slightly cooled
Preheat oven to 350. Grease a 9X13 baking pan.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together mochiko flour, sugar, baking powder, matcha powder and salt.
(lego is there to show you the pretty green color)
In a separate bowl or large measuring cup (4 cup capacity), beat eggs, then add coconut milk,evaporated milk and melted butter.
Carefully pour the wet ingredients over the mochiko flour mixture and whisk until mixture is smooth and uniform in texture.
Pour batter into greased 9X13 pan. Carefully smooth out the top.
Bake for 90 minutes, until top is golden brown and the cake begins to pull away from the sides of the pan.
Allow cake to cool for about 30 minutes on a rack, and then carefully flip it out and cut into 24 squares, or the size of your choice. Can store mochi cake for three days, covered.
The matcha powder I bought- I paid $7.99 at the local Chinese market. (I did go to two different ones to source it.)