Dirt Cupcakes: On the quest for excellence

The dirt cupcake was an idea that kept on morphing in my head in the two weeks leading up to Daughter #2's birthday.  I knew about dirt cakes but wasn't particularly thrilled about the idea of crushing oreos to give to young children.  I kept on thinking about it and figured out that I might be able to take the same concept and put it into a cupcake.  The Dirt Cupcake concept was born.

The night before Daughter #2's birthday party, it took me two tries to get a cake that I felt resembled dirt. I knew I wanted one that was really dark, crumbled into rich looking soil and would taste good.  I used one recipe, a cake that I do love, the Chocolate Pan Cake only to realize while making them that the batter simply wasn't dark enough for me.  I baked off those cupcakes and then went back and decided to try making a different cupcake recipe.  I used Marcy Goldman's cake recipe and from the beginning of mixing, I knew that this was going to be the one that would get me the dirt crumbs I wanted.

Now many might consider me crazy for doing two rounds of cupcakes in one night, but I couldn't let it go.  For me, if another aspect of the party hadn't come out pefectly - say the paper decor or the games, I'd be less concerned.  However, the cupcakes - it's a bit my thing, so less than the image in my mind simply wasn't good enough - I wanted excellent dirt.

I was very very pleased with the end result, and although these took a bit of time, they were super fun to make and the kids at the party just loved them.  (loved the flavor too!)

Dirt Cupcakes
Easy Devil's Food Cake turned into Dirt Cupcakes
from Marcy Goldman's book A Passion for Baking

Makes 44 mini or 22 regular sized dirt cupcakes

4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 1/4 cup boiling water
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
2/3 cup white sugar
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup sour cream
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350. Line mini muffin or regular muffin tins with paper liners.

Place chopped chocolate and cocoa in a medium-size bowl and over with boiling water. Stir to melt chocolate and then cool. Whisk together in a bowl flour, baking soda and salt.

In a mixer bowl, cream butter and both sugars until fluffy and well combined. Blend in eggs, vanilla, and then sour cream. Blend in cooled melted chocolate and then fold in flour, baking soda, and salt.

Spoon batter into prepared pans. Bake until cakes spring back when gently pressed with fingertips, 30 to 35 minutes. Cool well before frosting.

Fudgy Chocolate Frosting (or feel free to substitute with a chocolate frosting you like, but I like this one for it's firmer texture and ability to "mold." A regular chocolate buttercream will be too soft.)
from Tish Boyle's The Cake Book

3 oz unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped (I used Ghiradellis, the author uses Scharffen Berger)
3 oz bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped (again I used Ghiradelli's)
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 cups confectioners sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Place both chocolates in a medium stainless steel bowl and place the bowl over a pot of barely simmering water. Melt chocolate and remove bowl from pot and set the chocolate aside to cool. (The chocolate should be warm, still very loose and not hot.)

In the bowl of an electric mixer, using the paddle attachment, beat the butter at medium speed until creamy, about 30 seconds. Gradually add the confectioners' sugar and beat at high speed until light and creamy, about 2 minutes. Beat in the vanilla extract. Add cooled chocolate at low speed, mixing until blended and scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Increase the speed to high and beat until slightly aerated, about 1 minute.

Assembly
Take cooled 4 regular sized or 8 mini cupcakes and crumble them so that you have a dark dirt-like mixture. Taking a cooled cupcake, spread a good layer of frosting on top and then dip the frosted top into the cupcake dirt. Press down firmly so that the crumbs adhere and if necessary shape and mold the crumbs on the cake. Continue until all cupcakes have been frosted and crumbed.

Top with a worm or gummy candy of your choice. Enjoy your dirt!

Printable recipe

the punch I used to make the cupcake toppers....punch and then taped to toothpicks.  Easy!

Honey Bunches: When too much of something is not a good thing

The past 9 days have not been easy for me, as while in the midst of trying to get Daughter #2's birthday party together, Son caught a series of several colds that basically kept on knocking him out.  He'd be sick, get better and then get sick again, and then get better and then get sick again.  Each cold was slightly different but the end result was the same...

a son who would not let me go.  Now, normally I enjoy the affection and attention from Son, since he's usually very sweet and cute and says things like "Thank you mommy" and "I like you mommy" and "You're pretty mommy" but suddenly everything out of his mouth was a shrill whine and the only words he continually said were, "Hold me now mommy."

He's 35 pounds.  He's three years old.  Holding him is no small feat.  He's heavy and he makes me develop massive bicep muscles in order to handle carrying him around everywhere and I resorted to doing many things one handed, with frequent placement of the son nearby to hear him shriek, "HOLD ME MOMMY" repeatedly until my ears hurt and my nerves were completely frayed.  Too much of THAT is not a good thing.

In the midst of it all, friend FB came up to me and said, "I want to give you a 10 pound box of oatmeal that my husband bought from Costco that we don't need."

I replied, "I don't need it either.  Please don't make me take a 10 pound box of it home!"  (Too much oatmeal is not a good thing.)

FB said, "But I know you can cook with it.  You cook all the time.  Just make something with it."  She then handed me the box.

Nearly keeling over from the mass of the box, (please keep in mind my arms had been significantly weakened from lugging an extra 35 lb child around) I muttered to myself, "What am I going to make with all of this, cookies?"

The thought of 10 pounds of anything in my pantry scared me and my first thought was, how to use it up.  I looked through some cookbooks for ideas and came upon this one by Gale Gand in her book Butter Sugar Flour Eggs: Whimsical Irresistible Desserts.  I liked the simplicity, because I would have to make it holding Son in one hand for much of the time and I liked the ingredients as well.  (OATMEAL!)  I quickly made them in between holding Son, getting dinner together, and racing off to swimming lessons with the kids.  The end result was something chewy, yummy and very delicious.  It's a great breakfast treat and easy enough to make for the rushed breakfast.  With a cold glass of milk, it can't be beat.  Too much of THIS, is not a bad thing.  (except maybe for the waistline.)

Honey Bunches
adapted from Butter Sugar Flour Eggs by Gale Gand
makes 24

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter
2/3 cup honey
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups oats (I used old-fashioned; the book used quick cooking rolled oats)
2/3 cup flaked sweetened coconut
2/3 cup sliced almonds (Costco now sells a bag in the snack section)
1/4 cup all-purpose flour

Preheat the oven to 350. Grease 24 cups of a mini muffin tin. (or if you only have a 12 cup mini muffin tin, then be prepared to do it twice.)

Melt the butter over low heat in a small saucepan. While the butter is melting, mix together oats,coconut, almonds, flour and mix. Stir the honey into the melted butter and bring to a boil, stirring often. After the mixture is boiling, add vanilla extract. The mixture will bubble furiously and then calm down. Pour the butter mixture over the dry ingredients and mix well.

Press 1 heaping tablespoon of the mixture into each mini muffin cup. Bake until just beginning to brown 15 to 20 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool 10 minutes in the pan. Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.

Tastes great with a glass of cold milk.


Printable recipe

Sweet and Sour Glazed Wings: On being a pair

 For my other half.

When I got married, I knew I was going to be part of a pair.  There would be two halves making a whole.  Our two lives would become one and together we would walk one path.  At first it sounded scary.  Husband's path was leading him to Asia, and after some debate, we decided I would follow him.  That was our path, and although it was not the path I would have chosen as an individual, as half of a pair it was the one I walked together with him.

However, being part of a pair sometimes isn't easy, because the path that one person wants to take may not be the one that the other wants.  Sometimes there is a crossroads with two individual feet pointed in a different direction and no way to take different paths without splitting.  And when you are at that crossroads is when times are rough because suddenly the path that one person sees as being right isn't necessarily so for the other one. That is when you pray, so hard that the other person will change his or her mind and come to your side

I much prefer being on the path with my mate beside me.  I like seeing both of our feet walking in the same direction.  I like when both of our eyes are focused on the same goal.  I like having Husband right by my side to walk with me through the hardest parts of life, together.  I like being part of a pair.

Wings come in pairs.  I made wings yesterday and I made them again today, only a different recipe with different preparation and technique.  Although they were both wings, the end results were remarkably different.  These wings are not marinated, and are simply roasted and then glazed with a sticky, sweet and sour glaze that just makes you want to lick up all the glaze.  In fact, mom in law was over today rescuing me from my sewing project and she did just that - licked up the glaze commenting on how delicious the wings were.  Mom in law approved means that they need to be posted.

Sweet and Sour Glazed Wings
3-4 lbs chicken wings, (wings and drummettes separated. You can use only wings or only drummettes if you desire.)
Salt and pepper to taste

1/2 cup soy sauce
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons sesame oil
2 tablespoons sake
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced ginger

Preheat oven to 375. Place wings in a single layer in a roasting pan. Season with salt and pepper. Roast in the oven for 45-50 minutes, until much fat is rendered and skin is crispy.

While wings are cooking, add soy sauce, honey, vinegar, sesame oil, sake, minced garlic and minced ginger in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower heat and allow mixture to reduce until it is a sticky syrup, about 45 minutes. Set aside.

When wings are golden brown, remove from oven. Raise oven temperature to 425. Using a brush, spread the glaze over each wing and then return pan to the oven. Allow to brown up and get caramelization, about 3 minutes. Remove from oven and then spread remaining glaze all over the wings until they are coated.

Move wings to serving plate and sprinkle with sesame seeds and scallions. Serve with lots of wet napkins.

Printable recipe

Much more delicious when eaten with your mate by your side.

Honey Soy Pepper Wings: When your expectations are violated

I think I must have been in the 3rd grade when I was invited to a particular birthday party.  At that party, the birthday girl (whose name I don't remember) received from Katie B. (whose name I DEFINITELY remember) a really fantastic gift; Katie's mother had sewn the birthday girl a beautiful dark brown patchwork bag (think 70's style) and filled it with....nail polish, eye shadow, lipstick and all sorts of fantastic makeup that you could not even imagine.  I remember so clearly staring at the present, lusting after it, desiring it, wanting it that I couldn't think of much else for months.  I was sure that Kaite would give me a very similar present, and I just could not wait for my birthday.

It was quite a few months before my birthday, but every night I'd go to bed imagining that brown bag and imagining all the makeup.  I imagined painting myself up so beautifully with it, having my nails perfectly red (my super tiny short nails because I played piano) and just how much fun I'd have with the bag.  I'd close my eyes and imagine how amazing it would be to receive that bag on my birthday.

When it was time to invite kids to my birthday, you betcha I invited Katie B.  I even wrote her invitation extra special.  I put inside, "You are my good friend" with a smiley face and a heart. Katie was the first person I handed my invitation to and I whispered in her ear, "I really hope you can come."  My heart soared with the thought of that one special present that Katie B was going to give me.

The day of the party arrived and I don't remember many details.  I know my mom cooked food, I know that we had an ice cream cake, and perhaps we even played some games.  I DO remember the moment of present opening with all my friends seated around me.  I opened them one by one, eagerly expecting the one from Katie B.  I chose boxes that would fit a handmade purse with makeup in it and each time it wasn't the gift was waiting for.  Time and again, I would grab a box, another girl (not Katie B) would say "That's from me" and I would reluctantly open it.  Finally I picked up an odd sized cube (not at all the shape one would expect a box holding a purse and a trove of makeup inside) and Katie B piped up and said, "That's from me."  I eagerly ripped it open to find a very strange toy - a ball that you tossed back and forth and these two suction cup handles that you tried to catch the ball on.  Katie looked at me with a smile on her face and said, "Do you like it?" and with my heart sinking, I quickly nodded yes, and whispered, "Thank you."

For some reason, the disappointment I felt that day is so clear in my memory.  Katie B, her face, her cute brown braids and the freckles sprinkled across her nose and the beautiful purse -I still remember.  The rest is all a blur and so hazy but those details, the gift she ended up giving me and the disappointment I felt are very real memories.  I think it may have been the first time I had worked myself up to expect something and then was extremely disappointed in what was given to me.

I don't think the experience left me with any scars or anything, but it did teach me something about expectations and when they are violated.  Sometimes to expect something that you can't control - ultimately leads to disappointment.  (like expecting your 3rd grade friend to read your mind and know that you want the exact same present she gave someone else.)  However, things that you expect of yourself, the most important expectations, are the ones that you can fulfill and exceed and that gives you joy.

There is the other kind of expectation when you make a dish, and you expect it to be one thing or you expect it to turn like something else, or you want it to look and taste like something and it doesn't.  That violation of expectation I think is really frustrating, especially after putting in hard work to accomplish something - and then to have it not come out.  I've been toying with a few wings recipes, especially since so many of my readers love them and I've had my expectations frustrated a few times.  But not these wings.  These are yummy.  These are good and the simplicity of ingredients and preparation is at odds with the end result.  I loved these and so did Daughters.

Honey Soy Pepper Wings
adapted from Big Small Plates by Cindy Pawlcyn

Serves 6 (or 4 if you have big eaters like mine)

1/2 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon honey
2 tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons minced ginger
2 tablespoons freshly ground black pepper
3 lbs wings (drummettes and wings are fine)
Sesame seeds and chopped scallions for garnish

Combine all the marinade ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Place wings in a flat plastic container or a seal-able plastic bag and pour marinade over wings, mixing up ensuring that all surfaces are coated with marinade. Cover and refrigerate for 12 to 24 hours, occasionally turning wings.

 

 

After marination, preheat oven to 375. In a shallow roasting pan, place a wire rack (like a cake cooling rack). Arrange wings in a single layer on the rack and cook for 15 minutes. Raise oven temperature to 450 and cook for an additional 12-18 minutes, until the skin is brown and crispy and the meal is tender. Sprinkle with garnishes and serve!

Printable recipe

I'm certain a plate of these won't violate your expectations.

Super Bowl 2011: I come for the eats....not the game.

Let me be blunt and to the point  - you do not want me at a Superbowl Party for my depth of knowledge and understanding of football - because I do not know what any of it is.  I only barely understand the basics and I'll sit next to you trying to understand the game (why so many downs, timeouts and lack of ACTION in a football game?  Why so many stops and starts?  Why does it take so long?  Why are the points all different?)  I like the chance to win the Superbowl pool (I've won my share of a few bucks in my time) but really no one wants me there to participate in enjoyment of the game.  They want me there because I'll bring some food. 

There is some strategy involved, as my experience with food as that the eating is somewhat continual.  You sort of graze for several hours vs. eating everything at once.  Some food needs to be able to hold up well, some needs to cook and be piping hot, and other stuff just needs to be ready at all times and delicious no matter how long it has been out.  I like a strategy of having something that can be prepared and finished the night before (Turkey Chili), something marinated (Spicy Sweet Sour Wings), something sweet that doesn't require any assembly or handiwork the day of (Crispy Chewy Oatmeal Toffee Cookies), and something fresh that can be easily replenished  (Spinach Dip with Vegetables).  I might throw in some ribs as well, as they are always decadent and welcome at a superbowl. Below find a list of lots of fun things you might consider - it is just a fun list of suggestions and you should pick and choose as you see fit.

For reasons of football being the focus of the day and not the food, you'll notice that I don't really have that many grilling intense ideas (maybe the kimchee burgers) so no Korean tacos, burritos or Asian sandwiches.  It is really a logistical consideration, because it would mean that someone would miss the game in order to cook it - and for that reason, I don't really suggest it. 

Happy Superbowl eating everyone!

Superbowl Menu Ideas

Appetizer
Hot Artichoke Dip
Hot Crab Dip
Guacamole
Spinach Dip with Vegetables

Finger Foods
Garlic Ginger Honey Wings
Sweet Spicy Sour Wings
Salt and Pepper Wings
Kimchee Quesadilla
Egg rolls

Lighter Fare
Ginger Slaw
Curried Ginger Slaw
Greek Panzanella
Sesame Soy Noodles
Asian Pasta Salad

Heftier Fare
Asian Pulled Pork Sandwiches
Asian Marinade Ribs
Ultimate Bbq Ribs
Kimchee Burgers
Baked Sausage Pasta with Fontina Cheese
Turkey Chili
Kimchee Hot Dogs

Sweet Tooth
Pecan Rolo Pretzels
Korean Sweet Potato Pie
Crispy Chewy Oatmeal Toffee Cookies
Velvet Cupcakes

French Toast Bread Pudding: A study of contrasts

For JEL, and all of your enigmatic ways.

I'm really very average.  Aside from occasionally shocking people with the statement that I am shy, what you see is what you get with me.  I'm very typical in many ways - I'm a teacher, I like to teach, I like to cook, I like to be funny and I am essentially incredibly predictable.  There aren't any strange or unusual contrasts or something very unexpected about me.  No one ever says, "Oh wow!  I never would have expected that from you!"  In fact, the only time I hear that is when I tell people that I'm shy.

However, best friend JEL is the total opposite of that.  She is a very unusual set of contrasts, and even after having been friends with her for almost 2 decades, there are moments I just find myself shaking my head at the number of unusual contrasts within her.  Even when I describe her to other friends who may not know her, they end up being quite shocked at the series of contrasts.  I thought it would be quite funny to sum them up here as we discussed them today and even she found herself laughing.

1.  She is a nerdy engineer at a great company who also happens to be one of the more amazing vocalists I know personally.  (She sang at my wedding, where friends who did not know her came up to me and universally asked if she were a professional.  I responded she was a nerdy engineer.)

2.  She has amazingly soft facial skin, but has never seriously applied any moisturizing lotion to her face.  (not on any regular basis anyways.)

3.  She is rather picky about what she eats (she doesn't eat many things) yet she can cook almost anything and make it really delicious.

4.  She hates raw oysters but shucks them faster than a professional chef.  (I saw her shuck  two dozen in about 16 minutes.)  To give you perspective - I can't do one in one minute (I tried recently) and I've seen chefs quake at having to do them in a relay.

5.  She is brilliantly smart (went to college at 16 and graduated at 20) yet has so many moments of complete airheadedness and cluelessness that I find myself staring at her with shock on my face and saying, "WHAT?"

6.  She is an excellent driver with an excellent record yet cannot remember how to get to my house (or anywhere else for that matter.)  She cannot give directions to save her life.  Do not even bother asking her how to get to anywhere because she will immediately get you lost.  (This is potentially related to item number 5 above.)

7.  She is incredibly photogenic yet refuses to have her picture taken.  (this is actually VERY annoying to me.)

8.  She does not exercise yet she can beat me at arm wrestling. (This is actually more of a curious thing on my part as it seems I cannot beat ANYONE at arm wrestling.  I recently lost to an 11 year old girl)

9.  She has great rhythm but she can't dance.  (She might beg to differ on this point, but she only has one dance move I've ever seen and it's not really dancing - it's like dusting the blinds.  One day, you'll see.)

10.  She is very fun but she is not funny.  At all.  (Actually I kind of take that back.  When she has one of her clueless moments, she is EXTREMELY funny.  To me.  But it's unintentional.)

Why this post about contrasts?  Because the dish, French Toast Bread Pudding a series of contrasts as well.  It is breakfast, yet almost dessert.  It is easy to make, yet covering the baking dish with foil and then sticking it inside another pan to bake in a water bath was so complicated I almost gave up.  It is savory yet sweet.  It is satisfying and yet leaves you wanting a lot more.  It is really the perfect dish to serve to people when you have them as guests at your house IF you have 90 minutes to bake it. (yet another 90 minute dish - mochi cake is the other.) 

French Toast Bread Pudding

adapted from Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa How Easy Is That?: Fabulous Recipes & Easy Tips
Serves 8

1 challah loaf (1 lb), sliced 3/4 inch thick ( if the loaf is fresh, slice and bake in the oven for 10 minutes at 350 degrees.)
8 extra-large eggs
5 cups half and half or milk (or a mix - I did 4 cups half and half and one cup milk)
3 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon grated orange zest
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
Dash of cinnamon

Confectioners' sugar and pure maple syrup for serving

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Arrange the bread in two layers in a 9X13X2 inch baking dish, cutting the bread to fit the dish. Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, half-and-half, honey, orange zest, vanilla and salt. Pour the mixture over the bread and press the bread down. Allow to soak for 10 minutes. Sprinkle the top with cinnamon.

Place the baking dish in a large roasting pan. Pour hot water into the roasting pan. Then use tin foil to cover both the baking dish AND the roasting pan with the water in it. Cover to seal in the steam but tent the foil to allow the custard to rise. Make two slashes in the aluminum foil to allow the steam to escape. Bake for 45 minutes and then remove foil and bake for another 45 minutes until the pudding puffs up and the custard is set. Remove from the oven and cool slightly.

With a small sieve, dust lightly with confectioners' sugar and serve hot in squares with maple syrup on the side.

Printable recipe

A dish of this at your next brunch gathering?  They'll love you.

Oven Baked Squash Sage Risotto: On being torn in two

Working from home is not all that it is cut out to be.  I am very thankful that I can work from my home and spend  time with Son and Daughters as I wish, but there are many many moments of frustration when I am not doing my job or dealing children well.  I often find myself torn in half as I try to focus on work and also feed the kids and get things done around the house.  Inevitably I find myself frustrated that I am not doing either very well and I turn into a lunatic getting angry that nothing is going as it seems.  It doesn't make me feel good.

Since I have a bit of work every day, and in between I'm trying to get kids to various activities (and I do not do that many - just swimming for all three and piano for one) I end up having those moments of  at not doing either very well daily  But this past Friday, I didn't have to teach and I had a free afternoon after all the kids got out of school, a really wonderful luxury.  I decided I would take it easy (until the evening when I would be editing like a madwoman and teaching again) and instead ENJOY my children, something I don't do often.  I said that we would all ride bikes to the library, which was met with groans from Daughter #1 who is in that really somewhat obnoxious stage of everything not being to her liking and squeals of delight from Daughter #2 and Son who has been dying to ride his bike to the library.  I got everyone organized, snacks ready and we headed out to the library.

But not before I decided I would be making this baked "risotto" dish I saw in Ina Garten's new cookbook Barefoot Contessa How Easy Is That?: Fabulous Recipes & Easy Tips which asked me to do nothing except have some hot chicken stock and dump it into a pot and throw the whole thing into the oven to have risotto.  The idea seemed perfect on a day where I was going to enjoy my kids and NOT stress about the cooking so I plunged ahead with it.  I planned in my mind that as soon as we got home from the library I would throw the thing together and I did.

And it was good.  And easy.  And non stressful.  And I relaxed and giggled with my children.  I had a chance to ask them about their day and force thoughts about my day on them and we had a wonderful time together just eating some yummy rice and being a family with a non-stressed mommy.

Easy Butternut Squash and Sage "Risotto"
adapted from Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa How Easy Is That?: Fabulous Recipes & Easy Tips
Serves 4-6

1 1/2 cups Arborio Rice
1 lb butternut squash, cut into 1 inch cubes
5 cups simmering chicken stock
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons unsalted, butter
2 tablespoons finely chopped sage
Salt and pepper to taste

Make sure chicken stock is simmering and hot.

Preheat oven to 350.

Place rice, cubed butternut squash and 4 cups (out of the 5 cups of simmering stock) in a Dutch oven or heavy oven proof pot with a lid.

Cover and bake for 45 minutes, until most of the liquid is absorbed and the rice is aldente.

Remove from oven, add the remaining chicken stock, Parmesan cheese, butter, sage, salt and pepper and stir vigorously for 2 to 3 minutes until the rice is thick and creamy.

Serve hot, with extra Parmesan if desired.

Printable recipe

Crispy Rice Cakes with Honey: The battle of wills

The battle of wills with a 3 year old is no ordinary battle.  Add to it Korean "legendary" Choi family stubbornness times two (both Husband and I are Chois) and throw in a dash of curly hair (Koreans believe that curly haired people are more stubborn) in addition to the 3-year-old stubbornness of a boy and you've got...

WAR.  Full on raging war.

Before I even open my eyes in the morning, I am carefully planning the strategies that I will use to cajole Son into doing what he needs to do.  Most of the violent battles are waged over the basic things in life - going to the bathroom and washing his hands.  There are smaller battles but the ones that yield the greatest battle scars and bloodshed have to do with simple tasks of relieving the bladder and the hygiene that must follow.  Part of the reason I need to have such long strategy sessions with myself in the morning has to do with Son's tenacity and ability to make me crazy.    Most of the battles are waged as follows.

Mom:  Do you need to go to the bathroom?
Son:  No.
Mom:  You're holding onto your crotch and jumping up and down.  You need to go.
Son:  No.

3 minutes later, a puddle of pee-pee on the floor.

Mom: I TOLD YOU that you needed to go to the bathroom!
Son:  No.   No need to go to the bathroom.
Mom:  (pulling out her hair and lying on the floor away from the pee pee) FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Battle #1 - Victory Son.

So - with some strategy and reading of parenting books came upon the next idea - do not give your child a CHANCE to answer no.

Mom:  Go to the bathroom.
Son:  No.
Mom:  Go NOW to the bathroom.
Son:  No
Mom:  BATHROOM NOW.
Son:  (screaming) NO!
Mom: (screaming) GO RIGHT NOW!

3 minutes later a puddle of pee pee on the floor.
Battle #2  - Victory Son

More strategy reading and planning helped me come up with this next tactic - choices.  No chance to answer with a NO.

Mom:  Do you want to go to the bathroom in the downstairs bathroom or the upstairs bathroom?
Son:  No.
Mom:  Do you want to go to the bathroom with mommy or with daddy?
Son:  No.
Mom:  Do you want to pee in yours pants or go to the toilet?
Son:  NO. (adamantly.)

2 minutes later a pool of pee is stepped in by mommy.  Perfect battle strategy.
Battle #3 - Victory Son

After more careful strategic thought and planning, I decided to battle this way.

Mom:  I see you need to go to the bathroom
Son:  NO!
Mom:  (Grabs Son, picks him up and rams him onto the toilet)  I am taking you NOW
Son:   NO MOMMY!  I don't like to do the pee pee!
Mom:  (holding him down) You are going to go pee pee.
Son:  NO!

30 seconds later, Mom is shot in the eye with pee pee as he is seated and his aim is dead on (up not down.)
Battle #4 - Tie (really Son, but can't I get some credit?)

After epic battles as such continuing for days (also imagine the similar subsequent battles over hand washing) I start craving the word YES.  I just want to hear it in response to any question - just the pretense of acquiescence, compliance and obedience.  I just want to hear ONE yes in the myriad of nos.  So then I ask, "Do you want to have the dduhk (떡 Korean rice cake) with the honey?"

"YES," says son.

And so then I happily make it, with the false notion  of a son who completely worships the ground his mother walks on.

This isn't really a recipe - it's more a product idea in case you've never seen it.  This is rice cake, made with sweet rice flour, that is thick cut and then you can cook it (roast it or fry it) to make it soft, pliable and thoroughly yummy.  It is often breakfast at our house, fried or toasted and then dipped in honey.  Son and Daughters LOVE it and as it is so easy to prepare I'm not opposed to making it. As a note, a good rice cake will have nothing in it but the sweet rice itself.  (no preservatives or salts or sugars)

What the packages looks like -this one costs about $7 at my local market (Nijiya Market or Marina Market carry it in the Bay Area)

When you open it up, this is what you find inside.  Individual wrapped, hard pieces of mochi. 

I open up the packages, and then toss them into a fry pan with a bit of vegetable oil over medium low heat.

Alternatively, you can stick them in the toaster oven to toast up.

Cook for a few minutes on each side, until they start getting that yummy golden brown crust.  You will also notice the mochi beginning to puff up (they almost expand double in size)  Eat it WARM!

Toast in the oven and get this lovely puffy crispy thing.  Eat it warm!

If you're dying to hear a few yeses from your family, drizzle these with honey, or for a savory treat, dip it into soy sauce.  No one will say no.

If you want to source it, most Japanese markets will carry it.  I've also found it online at Asian Food Grocer.