Corn and Bean Relish (aka Michigan Caviar): I want them to be like me....

As Son and Daughters begin to grow up and develop personality and skills, I find that I often shop for their character and personality traits in husband and me and hope that they get them.  For example, I want Son and Daughters to have my musicality but Husband's athleticism, my sense of rhythm and Husband's sense of numbers.  They are in the early, yet promising stages of loving books and the written word as much as I do and have the same intense questioning and curiosity of Husband.  But one trait that I definitely hope that they get from both of us is our sense of humor.

I want them to think that the world is a funny place, full of quirks to notice and laugh it, and to be able, when they need it the most, to be lighthearted.   I already sense that they have my goofy humor and we'll see if they get Husband's sarcastic wit; being funny and knowing how to laugh are wonderful traits that I hope that they continue to develop.  Now, many days, their sense of humor (in an almost 7 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old) actually makes me nuts, because their idea of what is funny generally is equal to my idea of aggravation.  Running around without any clothes on is hysterical to them, but makes me bonkers.  Repeating everything I say (or one of the siblings say) over and over again is knee slapping laughter to them, but makes me want to pull my hair out. Telling the same knock knock jokes to me is rip roaring funny and will send them into peals of laughter, while I sit and try to rub out the headache that is pounding ever so softly in the back of my eyes.

But in between making me nuts, they laugh and giggle like crazy.  And they LOOK for things to laugh and snicker at.  The other day, right in the middle of their swim lesson, some child did his "business" (a big one) and so everyone was kicked out of the pool so that they could clean the business and treat the water and keep it all clean.  Son and Daughters, on the way home, asked many questions about WHY they had to leave the pool when the stuff was in an area far away from where they were.  They just didn't get it.  I spent about 2 minutes explaining bacteria and germs, and water circulation and ended it with the wise words, "And that is why we don't swim in the toilet."  The kids were silent for a second and then all three spontaneously burst out laughing, because they get my crazy sense of humor and it's funny to them.  The rest of the day, whenever there was a moment of silence, one of them would bust out with, "And that is why we don't swim in the toilet" and subsequently all shrieked with laughter.  Nothing like some imitation to make you feel like a star and I'm not afraid to say it, I did.

Going back to character traits,  one trait that Son and Daughters got from me and NOT from Husband....a love of beans.  My kids love beans.  LOVE Them.  Eat them up.  Want them.  Husband HATES them.  Detests them.  Abhors them.  (It is, in truth one of only three things he DOES NOT eat.) The first time I ate this bean and corn relish, it was given to me by the blogger of Sillie Smile and Children and I went nuts.  We polished off a HUGE jar...in ...well, I'm ashamed to say it - in two days.  It was a perfect combination of tender beans, crisp onions and celery, tart and sweet sauce and scrumptious against corn chips.  Served cold, it would taste amazing at any gathering where you want people to have some fun and laugh. 

With some special packaging (check here for a cute cool label idea), a jar of these would just be fantastic to give out as gifts.  I know, because I got a jar of one, and it disappeared, all too soon into the mouths of Son and Daughters.

Corn and Bean Relish (aka Michigan Caviar)
adapted from recipe by Jen C. Moon
 
Bring to boil and then cool the following:
1 cup apple cider vinegar
1 T water
½ cup canola/vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
1 t salt
½ t pepper

Rinse and drain all of the following; set aside in a large bowl
1 can pinto beans
1 can black eyed peas
1 can black beans
1 can white beans
2 cans sweet white corn

Finely chop the following and add to the bean mixture:
1 small red onion
2 green Anaheim chili peppers (if you want it spicy, then add 2 fresh jalapenos as well)
1 cup finely chopped celery

Then add:
1- 10 oz jar of diced pimento (drained)

Mix all of the above ingredients in the bowl.


Pour the cooled vinegar mixture over the bean/vegetable mixture.
Cover and marinade overnight. (stir in the morning)
Drain only portion you are serving.
Refrigerate the remaining mix in marinade.
Can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.
Serve with tortilla scoop chips.

 

Printable recipe

Steak and Vegetable Rice Cake Stirfry (Sogogi Yachae Dduhkbokki - 소고기야채떡볶이): Something I value

For SWC, HJL, CJR, GC, EK, EC, SJP, SB - y'all are some of the funniest people I know.

There is one character trait that I value very highly, almost above all others and that is a person's ability to laugh and make others laugh.  I find that I surround myself with such people because I love to laugh.  I love to hear something so funny that it makes me want to lie down on the ground and pound my fists with sheer laughter.  I love to say things that are funny and in turn make others around me scream and shriek with laughter.  I love to laugh and I love being surrounded by laughter.

Husband can still make me double over with laughter, whether in person, via text or by instant messaging; he knows how to phrase things and say things that just kill me.  They slay me, knock me out of my chair, and make me lose my breath.  It may be his deadpan way of saying things or just the funny way he views the world (he is the center of his own universe) but he never fails to get me to laugh.

Aside from Husband, I'm surrounded by friends who make me giggle and laugh helplessly.  And some of the best times I've spent have been with people who make me laugh so hard I lose all sense of propriety.  I just squat down and laugh as hard as I can.  There are no lady like giggles behind a delicate handkerchief or dainty hand - I belt out my laughs.  And it is probably the best medicine that anyone could ask for.  I think that laughter keeps me young and I'll continually seek out people who keep my heart joyful and the laughter loud.

Over the weekend, three families hung out at JEL's house (who isn't funny, but still makes me laugh like crazy) and I begged her to cook something of hers that I have been craving for a long time - this steak duhkbokki.  Her version isn't like the kind you get in a bar or even in the supermarkets because hers uses steak and other vegetables, elevating the dish in taste (and price).  She readily agreed to my begging, and the whole while she was making it, the two of us went back and forth about the amount that I wanted to make...which was 2 pounds of rice cake versus the 1 pound she normally makes.  She kept on muttering under her breath about how it wasn't going to be eaten and I kept reassuring her that it would be.  The whole while we cooked together, the other two women present kept on coming by with crazy comments and the whole situation of just kept me giggling.   It was great having someone else do the cooking, while I madly snapped pictures and took notes.  I also had to stop and measure everything before JEL dumped it in, because she is also a cook who never measures. 

At the end, right after it was done, the four women gathered around the pan on the fry pan and madly stabbed forks into the rice cakes and gulped them down.  The scene in itself was funny as four women met over a fry pan with this possessed look in their eyes as they gobbled down the food, but as we ate there were many jokes cracked and lots of laughter.  Somehow, all that giggling made the dish taste extra special and helped us eat more.  (we polished off those two pounds of rice cake.)

**Cooking Notes: Rice cake preparation**
If your rice cake is from a package (like mine was), then you'll need to do an extra step of preparation. If your rice cake is FRESH, made the day you are cooking, then you can save yourself a few steps. If your rice cake is from a package, you'll need to first take it out of the package and soak it in cold water. You will also need to parboil the rice cake right before sauteeing it with all of the vegetables and meat in order to get the right texture. Doing these two steps dramatically improves both flavor and texture of your entire dish.

Steak and Vegetable Rice Cake Stirfry (Sogogi Yachae Dduhkbokki 소고기야채떡볶이)
Serves 4-6
2 lbs Korean rice cake (the stick kind, not the ovalettes)

1 cup carrots, sliced
1 cup sliced onion
1 cup zucchini, sliced
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/4 to 1/2 lb sirloin steak, cut into strips (if you like it meatier, go with 1/2 lb)

2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup Korean chili pepper paste (gochujang 고추장)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons white sugar
Black pepper
1/2 cup of water
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1/2 cup chopped scallions
1 tablespoon toasted sesame seed

If your rice cake needs to be parboiled (because it is not fresh rice cake), then fill a pot with water and bring to a boil. Add rice cakes and cook for about 2 minutes or until rice cakes are soft and chewy. Cooking times can vary depending on your particular dduk condition so watch. Do NOT over cook. Drain and rinse with cold water. Set aside.

Heat a large saute pan over medium high heat add 2 tablespoons of oil. Add steak, carrots, and onion. Do NOT add zucchini or garlic as they cook much faster than the other vegetables. Saute for about 2 minutes and then add 3 tablespoons of soy sauce and a dash of black pepper. Saute for 1 minute longer and then add garlic, chili pepper paste, and sugar. Saute together, coating the steak and vegetables. Add zucchini and water and cook until zucchini begins to get tender, about two minutes.

Add prepared rice cakes all at once and stir once again in order to coat the rice cakes. Cover and allow to cook with the lid on for 2 minutes. Remove lid and then drizzle sesame oil all over mixture. Finish with green onions and sesame seed sprinkled on top. Serve hot!

Printable recipe

Laughter and this dish go hand in hand

Korean Spicy Pork (Dweji Bulgogi 돼지불고기 or Jeyeuk Bokkum 제육볶음): Guilt and Motivation

Two days ago, I was traumatized when I found out that Son has not one, not two, but FOUR cavities.  It was Son's first dental appointment, and I had a sinking feeling that the dentist was going to confirm that the rather odd spot in the front of Son's teeth was in fact a cavity.  I was NOT prepared to hear that there were four.  Furthermore, I was not prepared to hear that they were going to need to be fixed;  Son would need to be put on laughing gas and his teeth would be drilled.  As the dentist explained to me, and patiently answered my various questions regarding procedure, my mind spun wildly out of control with the words...THIS IS MY FAULT!

Friends keep on telling me not to blame myself and that maybe it is a genetic predisposition (soft enamel or large grooves) but I know what the truth is.  Our dentist made no mention of such genetic predispositions and I had to confess to her that I don't always help Son brush his teeth.  Daughters #1 and #2 have no cavities, no problems in their mouth and with a little assistance from me, get the teeth brushing done.  Son, on the other hand, is entirely a different story.  He HATES brushing his teeth.  I have spent a small fortune trying to figure out HOW to motivate him to want to like it with frantic purchases of different flavored toothpastes, fancy toothbrushes with characters on them and floss that tastes like fruit.  He still hates it.  The ONLY way he would get his teeth brushed was with sheer force.  I used a flying tackle to bring him down, a leg over manuever to pin him, and got him screaming so his mouth would be open, just so I could quickly stick a toothbrush in his mouth and frantically try and get what I could before Son completely went bonkers.

The cavities are my fault because that flying tackle scene is not something I wanted twice a day.  Every morning and every night?  Forget about it.  I just couldn't do it.  Physically and mentally it was just too much.  Son's disposition is one of pure joy and humor and the struggles over teeth brushing were simply too much.  I let him slide.  He would say, "I brushed my teeth mommy" and I would "believe" him.  It just became easier not to have to fight him EVERY single night and so there were many nights, more than I care to remember, that I let him slide.

But there is nothing like hearing about four cavities, the drilling and the laughing gas that must follow, to light a fire under a mom.  The day after we learned about the cavities, I was a general waging World War III in our house over teeth brushing.  I barked out orders, flossed EVERY child's EVERY tooth and personally executed teethbrushing for every single child.  The whole war took 20 minutes, but thankfully it was done without too much fuss.  Son, even, submitting himself rather meekly to my massive toothbrushing campaign with few protests.  (I'm guessing the whole cavity situation has snapped some sense into him.)  I am motivated, driven and committed to keeping the remaining untainted teeth healthy in Son and Daughters mouths.

I have this cartoon image in my head of me with a fire lit under me.  And in this image, I turn around, hop off the fire and start cooking on it.  It's this spicy pork dish I would like to cook in that fire, if only to remind myself that sometimes you need a little bit of trauma to get you fired up and motivated.  It's spicy, easy to make, but so delicious with crisp romaine and silky green cabbage.  Both of those greens help cool the heat in the dish and make it just extra delicious.

As a note, Son LOVES this and handles spicy very well.  But Daughter #1, who doesn't like spicy, really loved it wrapped in the steamed cabbage.  Daughter #2 who is a medium spicy lover gobbled down tons of rice with the pork and kept on commenting on how yummy it was.  So don't be afraid to try it on your children. You may be surprised at how much they eat.

Korean Spicy Pork Bulgogi (Dweji Bulgogi 돼지불고기 or Jeyeuk Bokkum 제육볶음)
1 1/2 lbs thinly sliced pork shoulder (also called pork butt) OR you can use pork belly for this (your local Korean market will have the appropriate cut of meat)

1/3 cup Korean chili pepper paste (gochujahng 고추장)
3 tablespoons finely minced garlic
2 tablespoons ginger
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon hot pepper flakes (gochugahloo 고추가) omit this to reduce the heat)
1 tablespoon sake
1 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon crushed toasted sesame seeds

1 onion, thinly sliced
4 scallions, cut into 2 inch lengths

In a large bowl, mix together gochujang, garlic, ginger, soy sauce, sugar, sake, sesame oil, honey and sesame seeds. Add thinly sliced pork and using your hands, make sure each piece is evenly coated.

Add onions and scallions and mix well. Allow to marinate for at least 2 hours, or overnight.

Heat a heavy fry pan over medium high heat. It is better to cook this in batches, than trying to cook it all at once. Cook half the pork until the onions are translucent and the meat is fully cooked, about 6 minutes. Transfer to a serving plate and cook the other half of the pork.

Serve with steamed cabbage leaves, crisp romaine, or Korean lettuce.  (If you want to learn about steaming cabbage, check out this post.)

Printable recipe

Eating this helps me forget my guilt.

Korean Spicy Braised Chicken (Dahk BokkeumTang 닭볶음탕) : I have a temper

 One of my least attractive qualities is my ferocious temper.   I have a very very slow fuse, so mostly my temper doesn't explode, but when it does, I can be one of the scariest people alive.  (Yes I know - people are again, shaking their head in disbelief.)   Husband will attest to this, because there was once a time, early in our marriage, where he did something that made me so mad that I did not talk to him for 37 days.  You read that right.  37 whole days I did not speak to him.   I spent my days ignoring his phone calls and the evenings ignoring his presence.  I would walk around him and if he spoke to me I would ignore him.  I was quite proud of this demonstration of my extreme temper and my ability to hold a grudge until one of my friends ever-so-gently pointed out the error of my ways.  She quoted to me from Ephesisans 4:26, "And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry..." and I was instantly deflated.  Why was I so proud and excited by something that was clearly displeasing to God?  From that day forward, I resolved never to let the sun go down on my anger.

Recently Husband and I got into a heated argument over something via telephone and once again the ferocious temper reared its ugly head.  And although it was close to my bedtime, I forced myself to call him before I went to bed and say, "Don't you have anything to say to me?"  His response was, "Do you have something to say to me?"  Although I usually make it a point to NOT be the first one to say sorry, I tucked my pride under my arm, and pushed my temper off my spirit and said, "I'm sorry."  Just saying those words dramatically changed my emotions and I could feel all of the anger and distress melting off of me.  I knew that not letting the sun go down on my anger was something so wise and from God.

I'd like to think that my temper has improved as I have gotten older.  I hope it has.  I hope that God comtinues to mold me closer to His image and that the crazy temper quickly becomes nothing more than a tiny spark and not the raging fire it can be.

One way I've discovered I can control my temper is swallowing it.  Literally.  By eating super spicy foods I somehow calm the fire that rages in my spirit.  This dish does that for me.  Eating all the pure heat and spiciness makes me relax and think not of my anger, but how satisfied I am by the spiciness within my belly and not my spirit.

This does have somewhat a long list of ingredients, but the preparation is essentially marinating the chicken, then cooking it with some vegetables.  Don't be daunted by the long list and instead break up the work into steps.  Marinate the chicken the night before and cook it the day of.  It is also a great dish reheated, if you want to make it the day before and serve it the next day.  I do favor bone-in, dark meat chicken for braising as it holds up to the extended cooking time and doesn't fall apart.

Korean Spicy Braised Chicken (Dahk BokkeumTang 닭볶음탕)
3 to 4 lbs bone-in, skin OFF chicken. (I used chicken thighs, but drumsticks would work well or even whole legs.)
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup Korean red pepper chili paste (gochujahng 고추장)
2 tablespoons Korean red chili powder (gochugahloo 고추가루) ** If you want it less spicy, reduce this to 1 tablespoon or less
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon sake
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped ginger
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/2 cup pureed onion

3 carrots, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 onion, cut into large 1 inch pieces
3 to 4 red rose potatoes, cut into 2 inch chunks (I quartered the potaotes)

1/2 to 1 cup water (as needed)
3 scallions, cut into 2 inch pieces
Sesame seeds for garnish

In a large bowl, mix together sugar, red pepper chili pepper paste, red chili powder, soy sauce, sake, sesame oil, ginger, garlic and pureed onion. Mix well. Add chicken and mix until all chicken pieces are coated. Add carrots and onions and mix well. Cover and refrigerate until needed, at least 2 hours, but up to overnight.

Heat a large pan over medium high heat. Add marinated chicken and vegetables and stir, cooking until the marinade is fragrant, about 5 minutes. Top with potatoes and pour 1/2 a cup of water over chicken and cover, reducing heat. Check chicken after 15 minutes to make sure there is enough water, and add 1/4 cup of necessary. You do NOT want to add too much water because the vegetables and the chicken all release juices and a too watery base is not ideal. Cook for 45 minutes total, stirring occasionally and checking to make sure there is enough water and just adding a little bit at a time.

Once chicken is fully cooked and potatoes are tender, add scallion pieces and toss. Sprinkle with sesame seeds as a garnish. Serve hot with fresh rice.

Printable recipe

Just spicy enough.

Banana Bread Two Ways (Walnut or Chocolate Chip): On getting out

For TR, the whole reason I'm getting out.

Tomorrow, for the first time since 2010, I am getting out.  I am going to leave the kids at home with a sitter, I'm going to meet three fabulous friends at a mani-pedi place, and we are getting our hands and feet done and then we're going to a fantastic dinner.

I cannot tell you how long I have looked forward to this.  This evening, as I struggled to get the kids dressed, fed, and ready for bed, I thought of how much fun it will be to let it all go, if only for a night and just to feel somewhat free.  I want to be out long enough to miss Son and Daughters, and long enough to forget all the hard stuff and remember only the good.  Unfortunately I'm only going to be out for about 4 hours so maybe it it won't happen but I'll give it a try anyway.

Banana bread is also something I have not done for a very long time. I had quite a few recipes I liked, but this one from Tyler Florence's book Family Meal is a great one and easy to do.  Making it reminded me of simpler days, where I only had myself to worry about, as I used to make banana bread a lot more when I was single, without children. However, I found it so easy to make it made me wonder why I hadn't made it in so long. I tweaked Tyler's version and came up with a variation with chocolate chips as well.  You can also make a bit of each by splitting the batter into two loaf pans.

I intend to make these again very soon; most likely I'll make this before I even have a shot at getting out.

Banana Bread Two Ways (Walnut or Chocolate Chip)
adapted from Tyler Florence's Family Meal

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 overripe bananas
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup golden brown sugar
3/4 (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2 large eggs, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped walnuts OR 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Lightly grease a 9X5-inch loaf pan. (Alternatively, you can use two 8.5X4.5 loaf pans if you wish.)

In bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda and salt. Mash 2 of the bananas with a fork in a small bowl, leaving a bit of texture. With an electric mixer, or by hand, beat the remaining bannas and the two sugars together, for 3 minutes; you want a light and fluffy banana cream.

 

Add melted butter, eggs, and vanilla; beat well and scrape down sides of the bowl. Mix in flour mixture until just blended. Fold in nuts  (or chocolate chips) and mashed bananas with rubber spatula. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes (for the two small pans, bake for 1 hour) until the loaf is golden brown and a toothpick in the center comes out clean. Cool bread in the pan for 10 minutes and then turn out onto wire rack to cool completely. Do not slice until complete cooled.

 

Printable recipe

half chocolate half walnut

Cookies to Go: The kindness of strangers

For JL, no longer a stranger.

I woke up very early this morning to bake some cookie dough that I had prepared the day before.  I wanted to give some freshly baked homemade cookies to a woman, JL, who was two months ago, a stranger to me. 

I woke up way before the kids to bake these cookies and it wasn't hard to wake up to do it, because this woman, before we were acquaintances (I say we are this now) was completely wonderfully kind and warm to a stranger...me.

As an aside, I am a  good friend.  Many of my friends would call me a great friend.  When someone tells me they need something, or have a question for me, or want some advice cooking or otherwise, I always try to accommodate and do what I can to help them.  I do this for my FRIENDS.  I do this for the people who know me and love me.  I do these things for people whom I trust.

On the flip side, I hate asking for favors.  I hate asking people to do something for me if I can do it on my own, and loathe relying on the help of others.  I'd rather mess up doing it alone than ask for anyone's help.  Call it pride, call it stupidity, call it lameness but that is really what I'm about.  Ask ME for all the help you want, but I'm not likely to turn around and ask YOU for something.  I know.  It's weird. And lame.  Friends blast me all the time for it because I tend not to ask for favors in return.

However, as I was working on the book fair for Daughter #1's school, I volunteered for the book fair at Daughter #2's school, which was run by this woman, JL.  And I have volunteered for bookfairs at this same preschool four years in a row, and THIS year, the book fair was amazing.  With great books, great layout, fantastic decorations and it got me to thinking...I need some of this woman's ideas.  I need to pick her brain and I need to beg, borrow, or steal all the cool ideas she had for her book fair and put it into mine.

So timidly, shyly, cautiously, I asked JL, if I might perhaps borrow her theme, get some ideas from her, and possibly ask for a few moments of her time to talk about the book fair.  Her response to my questions was yes...take all of her ideas and just use them at my book fair.  She gave me resources, told me she'd give me any forms I wanted and essentially offered to give me her binder of all the things she did so that I could use it for my book fair.  I was to her, at that moment, nothing more than a volunteer at her book fair and she simply welcomed me and treated me like a good friend.  (And I did take a bunch of her ideas and put them into the book fair at Daughter #1's school.)

We are no longer strangers, and more like acquaintances making our way into friendship.  I wanted to treat her like a good friend and made her some cookies and I have to say...it felt really good.  Even though I was up at 6:25 AM trying to bake, it was worth it.  And her face when I delivered them to her at her son's classroom was one of sheer elation and excitement over cookies. (I later received a funny text from her confessing that she had already eaten 4.) 

Doing something kind for a friend or someone you know is easy.  Doing something kind for a stranger or someone you don't know as well is slightly harder, but just as rewarding.  Thank you JL, for doing something kind for a stranger.

I baked two kinds of cookies for her box.  I prepared the dough the day before and all I had to do early in the morning was bake them off.

Crispy Chewy Oatmeal Toffee Cookies
Chocolate Chip Cookies with Sea Salt

a box of these...turns strangers into friends

boxed up cookies