Double-Crusted Nectarine, Blackberry, Almond Crisp: Long summer days

To those in the midst of a long summer

As a child, I always looked forward to the summer. Although I always had some sort of camp, swimming lessons, or summer school, it also meant long lazy days of swimming in the backyard, reading books while lounging on the sofa, and eating ice cream on days so hot that I made a sticky puddle on the concrete. There were bike rides in the cooler summer evenings and the shouts of joyful children that echoed through the streets, which signaled no homework and carefree summer days.

As a mother, I'm finding summers to be decidedly less wonderful to look forward to. I do enjoy the break from the breakneck morning routines of getting lunches ready, kids ready, and children in various places at the proper time, but there also seems to be an exponential rise in the whining and the noise and the buzzing within my house. The natives, it seems, are restless. And their restlessness are arrows pointed directly at my head and face.

I think when Son and Daughters were younger, summer was just another season of fun, cooing, and cuddling the babies. It meant dressing the kids in cute summer outfits, oooh-ing and aaah-ing over the pretty dresses and the dapper shirts. As they grow older, they voice their demands, their opinions, their thoughts and their desires. Even up to last year, Son's verbal skills were not so advanced so mostly he smiled and giggled and had one or two short sentences and that was it for his communication. I, in turn spent a lot of time shooting words at him, but without really having to pay attention to too much coming back from his direction. Suddenly, a year later, Son talks a mile a minute, has a treatise to share about anything and everything, and voices specific demands about specific things very specifically and very often. There are also two other female voices doing the same, from morning to night, and now - it is just too much noise. Cute younger children who don't talk much during the summer is one thing; active, verbal, spastic children during the summer is entirely another.

I wanted to celebrate summer (even though it was cloudy in the Bay Area) and block out the noise for a bit. Friend SH had suggested that I try doing some cobblers and crisps for the summer and I thought it a great idea. I had in front of me many different stone fruits (plums, pluots, nectarines, peaches) and some delectable berries and sat and tried to figure out how to make a crisp. Even while making the crisp, Son and Daughters made me bonkers as they kept on EATING the fruit I was cutting up for the crisp, and digging into the bowl trying to see what was inside, and mixing things I didn't want mixed. It was to say in the least, an effort to get it out of the kitchen.

But finally it was all assembled (and had there been no children around, it would have been assembled VERY quickly) and I put it in the oven for a nice bake. I invited friend SH to come over and have some with me, and the two of us sat on my sofa, leaned back and basically let our kids run wild in the home. It was actually a welcome respite, to have the kids screaming joyfully at each other instead of screaming at us, and the fruit crisp was just another lovely hit of sugar and deliciousness to make the summer days a bit sweeter. After all, these days are precious and few, even if they are making me a bit crazy.

When does school start again?

**Cooking notes**
If you are tempted to use up mushy fruit by making a crisp, let me stop you right there. DO NOT. It will not have the lovely texture you will enjoy in a crisp. Soggy fruit before the baking will not improve with baking. Choose good fruit that is heavy for its size, firm but with a slight give and not visible bruises.

Double-Crusted Nectarine, Blackberry, Almond Crisp
Adapted from Rustic Fruit Desserts by Cory Schreiber and Julie Richardson
Serves 5 to 6 people

Ingredients
1 ⅓ cups all -purpose flour
1 cup old-fashioned oats
¾ cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon sea salt
10 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
¾ cup sliced almonds

½ cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon cornstarch
pinch of salt
5 cups sliced nectarines (between 4 to 5 nectarines total - I used a mix of yellow and white)
1 cup of blackberries, washed and picked over
juice and zest of one lemon
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method
Preheat oven to 350 F.

To make crisp, mix flour, oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt together in a bowl. Stir in melted butter and mix until combined. Gently add sliced almonds, so as not to break them apart. Press a little more than half of the mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch square baking pan.

To make fruit filling, mix together granulate sugar, cornstarch together in a large bowl, then add the nectarines, blackberries, lemon juice, lemon zest, honey, and vanilla extract. Toss to combine. (There will be some juice which collects; do not worry as this will be thickened into a lovely sauce by the cornstarch.)

Spread fruit evenly over bottom layer of the crisp then sprinkle remaining crisp on top. Bake in the middle of the oven for 60 minutes, or until crisp is golden and the fruit bubbles up through the topping. Cool for 20 minutes before serving.

Storage: Wrapped in plastic, leftovers keep at room temperature for 3 days. Rewarm in 300 F oven until heated through.

Printable recipe

For the long summer days

Sesame Orzo with Chicken, Apricots, and Cilantro:

For SH, who scratched my back.

For about two weeks, I had the strangest desire to eat SOMETHING but I could not identify what it was.  I spent countless hours pouring over cookbooks, reading menus online, and tasting random things in my kitchen to find EXACTLY what I was craving.  Like an itch on a spot of my back unreachable alone, I drove myself crazy trying to find what I wanted to eat.  I ate several chocolate bars thinking it was chocolate, a few bags of chips thinking that it was to be found at the bottom of a bag of kettle chips, and more than a few pints of ice cream were opened in the quest to satisfy this strange craving.

I kept thinking it was the perfect burger, and I made them at home for Son and Daughters and even went out to eat it with a friend, and still the itch remained. However, one day, friend and neighbor SH dropped by this orzo salad to me, saying that she had just made it at home.  She shared something from her kitchen with me and although I had just come back from dinner (I took the kids to Chipotle, thinking I could cure it with a burrito - but again struck out.) I opened the container and smelled it.  Instantly I was attracted to it, so I went into the kitchen, and on a full stomach took a bite.  BAM!  There it was.  I was so shocked at my craving suddenly being hit I actually choked on a bit of the pasta had a bit of an unpleasant episode in the kitchen.  I closed the pasta up so that I could enjoy it another day.

A few days later, after I had been working at church until late, I opened the container and ate that entire bowl of pasta up.  It was exactly what I was craving - cilantro, soy, sweet from honey and apricots, and savory enough with the rotisserie chicken.  Every single bite was the perfect bite and boy did I love it.  SH graciously shared the recipe with me (I actually called her up and told her she HAD to give it to me) and voila!  Here!  It is comfortingly familiar with its Asian flavor notes, but different and exciting with the addition of apricots.  Think Chinese Chicken Salad flavors with pasta.

Sesame Orzo with Chicken, Apricots, and Cilantro
Adapted from Kitchen Playdates by Lauren Bank Deen
Serves 5 to 6 people

Ingredients
1 lb orzo pasta
2 cups rotisserie chicken, diced (optional if you want vegetarian)
1 cup slivered almonds toasted (optional if there are allergies)
⅔ cup of diced dried apricots
⅔ cup of cilantro, chopped
5 scallions, thinly sliced

½ cup of canola or vegetable oil
½ cup of rice vinegar or cider vinegar
¼ cup toasted sesame oil
zest of 1 orange, plus 2 tablespoons of the juice
2 teaspoons of soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey
2 inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 teaspoons crushed sesame seeds
Salt and pepper to taste

Method
Cook orzo according to package directions in salted water. Drain and set aside.

In a bowl, whisk together the oils, vinegar, orange zest, juice, soy sauce, sugar, salt, pepper, ginger and garlic. Alternatively, in the bowl of a mini prep, finely chop ginger and garlic together. Add vegetable oil, rice vinegar, sesame oil, orange juice, orange zest, soy sauce and honey. Blend together. (Make sure chop the garlic and ginger first, otherwise you will be left with large scary chunks.)

Mix the pasta and the dressing together. Do not be alarmed by the amount of dressing. The pasta absorbs the lovely flavor. Add in chicken, apricots, cilantro, scallions, almonds (optional). Season with salt and pepper. The salad can be served warm or chilled. If serving chilled, recheck the seasoning when you are ready to serve.

Printable recipe

Delicious over baby spinach

Brie, Pancetta, Arugula Crostini: What's a vacation?

When we first got married, Husband and I traveled quite a bit.  We lived in Hong Kong, went to different locales in Asia, and definitely "vacationed" often.  Even with Daughters #1 and #2, we got on more than a few airplanes, and flew to different places, staying in hotels and eating out.  With the arrival of #3, vacations have been limited to simply driving to my parents' house in southern California, or driving to Tahoe for a brief stay; we do not "vacation" in the sense of the word that I'm thinking of.  I imagine a nice flight, a beautiful resort, food that I don't have to cook, and total rest and relaxation.  With three kids?  I'm not sure it's going to happen.

However, due to circumstances involving Younger Brother's "marital ceremony" in Seoul Korea this fall, Husband and I decided that we'd all go to Korea for an extended time to both celebrate Young Brother's marriage as well as to have, as Husband put it, "a vacation."  We'll be flying, staying in a very nice serviced apartment, in the country where Daughter #2 was born and our motherland.  Only, it's not a vacation.  I tried to explain it to husband and he told me I have a bad attitude.  But really, it is best summed up by a line I heard on the show Modern Family (Season 1, Episode 23), when Phil repeatedly tells Claire to loosen up and enjoy their Hawaii vacation (which by the way would be more of a vacation in my book) and she says,""I'm a mom traveling with my three kids.  This isn't a vacation.  It's a business trip."  Although the trip is months away, I have a long laundry list of things to take care of (Daughter #2's passport being one of them) and a bunch of arrangements to be made. I've already tried to figure out what clothes to wear, if I need to buy something, what are the kids going to wear (they are all in the wedding, but for the rest of the time). Are we schooling them while there, and what, if any, beautifying treatments am I signing myself up for?  (probably not, but it is on my list of things to check out.)  The logistics of traveling with three kids is nothing short of a business trip.  A vacation?  Husband, excuse my bad attitude, but not so much.

But Husband keeps on reminding me how fun it'll be and how we'll explore are old haunts, and eat at the places we used to love.  Every chance we have to talk about the trip he joyfully proclaims how amazing it will be, while I'm still working out the logistics of getting our family to the airport without hurting anyone's vehicle.  But I'm going to try to change my perspective.  I'm going to try and see this as a wonderful family vacation.  I'm going to let go of the logistics, and just let things happen.  I will try to make it less of a business trip and make it, if possible, just a trip.

In the meantime, I do have a fabulous weekend vacation planned in the near future, with my 7 girlfriends who are flying all over from the US to spend time with me.  I will be leaving Children and Husband behind for 3 days and 3 nights while I go have fun with my friends, eating and talking.  I thought about that trip as I made this dish and my mouth watered with the anticipation of that trip.  Am I a bad person for thinking that a true vacation means that I'm not taking care of my children? Maybe.  But I do know, I'm not a bad person for making these crostini, so for anyone who takes offense at my interpretation of a vacation, come over so I can shove one of these into your mouth as you berate me for my attitude.

These are crispy, savory sweet, luscious and a perfect starter to any party.  (Or, you can, as I did, eat a plateful as your meal.)  Daughters loved it as well, and I made a brie-less version for Son, and he protested the fig jam but ate everything else.

Brie, Pancetta, Arugula Crostini
4 to 6 servings

Ingredients
1 loaf crusty bread like pugliese, sliced ½ inch thick, (make 10 slices)
1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper
¼ cup fig jam
large wedge of brie cheese, cut into slices (thin slices means you can put two on a piece of bread) - enough for 10 pieces
10 pieces of pancetta
1 cup arugula leaves, washed

Method
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

On a baking sheet, place pancetta rounds and bake, until some of the fat is rendered and it is getting crispy - about 4 minutes.

Arrange the sliced bread on a baking sheet (I just used same one as pancetta). Brush with some of the olive oil and sprinkle each piece with salt. Bake until the bread is pale golden and crisp, about 5 minutes. Remove from the oven. Top each slice of bread with a teaspoon of fig jam, brie slices, and the baked pancetta.

Return the baking sheet to the oven until the cheese is warmed, about 5 minutes.
Arrange the toasts on a serving platter. Top each toast with a 4 to 5 arugula leaves. Drizzle the remaining olive oil over the arugula. Season with pepper.

Printable recipe

If I could eat all of these, without being asked to get up from the table, I might consider that a vacation.

Yogurt Parfait: Embracing Chaos

For AKS - you still make me laugh!

I had a fun conversation with an old friend from graduate school.  (As an aside, she is a fantastic photographer and you can find her work here.) She and I have three children, two older daughters and a younger son.  She made me laugh aloud when she related me some of her funny observations about her self-discovery during motherhood.  She explained it succinctly.

child #1--holding on to my old life
child #2--accepting my new life
child #3--embracing the chaos

When you have the first child, the disruption to your "life" as you know it is profound, but mentally I think you still have a firm grip on your identity as a person separate from your child.  (man or woman vs. daddy or mommy)  However, the more children you add to your own life, the less firmly you are able to hold on to that ideal vision of who you are and suddenly you just have to join the chaos and embrace it.

Do I miss my pre-child life?  Yes.  Often. Especially when three children are all talking at me at once sharing their demands.  Would I change the chaos?  Not likely.  I'm in the mix of craziness and it is pretty darn yummy at times.

This parfait - this mix of very mismatched things - crunchy granola, sweet tender fruit, tart yogurt and luscious honey looks at one glance both chaotic and delicious, which is pretty much how I feel about my life.  Son and Daughters will actually settle down when I tell them we're having yogurt parfaits (Son's without the yogurt) and sit patiently waiting for it.  It's a great breakfast as well as an easy dessert. (Kids squirt your own honey!!)

Layer the following however you desire
Granola (recipe)
Fage Greek Yogurt (or another brand you like - Fage's nonfat is amazing)
Fresh fruit - berries, peaches - anything seasonal
Drizzle of honey

so delicious, despite the craziness

Honey Maple Granola: Greater blessings

To all the amazing VBS volunteers at C3 Church - Thank you!

I just finished 5 days of Vacation Bible School, where I was the snack coordinator and snack leader for 80 elementary school children. Compared to many of the other teachers, my work during VBS was actually quite limited.  I prepped for about an hour, taught and coordinated a snack for 15 and then for me, my evening was over.  But for many other teachers, they came earlier and had to teach the same lesson four times.  There were many many many amazing workers this year, and I spent quite a bit of time, after it was all over, individually thanking the many volunteers who helped make this event possible for our church.

I did have to think ahead about the snack and as I truly hate waste, I spent a lot of time figuring out portions.  I ran to 3 different supermarkets every single day in order to procure all the ingredients for each day's snack.  It was too hard to store all the food I needed, so I found myself doing daily grocery runs.  I changed quite a few snacks and had to reconfigure amounts and figure out how to best manage the execution of each day's snack.  In other words, this ended up being a lot of work.  In between grocery shopping, I had to teach, drive kids to their various lessons and still try and cook meals for the family.

On top of all of that, I also invited different children to join us for this VBS adventure and had to coordinate with three different sets of parents sign ups, drop offs and pick ups.   My parents had to drive up from southern California to watch Son, while I headed out every single evening to drive 5 children (2 my own, 3 guests) 20 miles away to our church during rush hour traffic.  

By Day 4 of VBS, the bottom of my feet hurt, my back ached, my car was hot, and I was pretty tired.  The back and forth, the shopping, the preparation, and the continual noise of children in the car were getting too much.  My mom watched me from the side, and although she kept her silence, I could see her thinking, "You're working too hard.  Stop.  You're working way too hard.  Stop."   But for whatever reason, I wanted to keep going, and I know it was God's strength that pushed me through and not my own.

But a great great thing happened on the 4th night, to which I was a witness.  That night, the 5 children that I drove to VBS (two being Daughters #1 and #2) raised their hands to accept their salvation.  And when I was able to go and pray for each of those precious children who accepted their Savior, my heart overflowed and I began to cry.  Certainly God did not need me to make His presence known to His children, but how blessed am I to have been able to be a part of it?  I put in my best efforts and God allowed me to partake in the joy of  seeing these children accept Him.  It was so awesome and amazing, even now leaves me a bit at a loss for words.  My own efforts pale in comparison to the sheer blessings of God.

I decided to prepare granola for the final evening's VBS and I did it with such a full heart.  10 cups of granola for 80 children came out as an outpouring of God's bounty.  And when I served the snack that night, and saw all the kids seriously just pigging out on granola, yogurt and fruit I felt great.  Had I bought the granola, I still would have felt wonderful, but watching something that I had done with my own two hands being enjoyed so fully (with kids begging for seconds and thirds) made me feel triply good.  Oh how God uses my small effort and turns it around to bless me even more.

This granola is great because you can adjust it as you see fit.  You can add nuts if you like, or other seeds (like flax seeds or sesame seeds) but I kept mine very simple and plain due to allergies of my own children as well as others.

Honey Maple Granola
Makes 5 cups

Ingredients
5 cups old-fashioned oats (not instant) - if you want nuts, add 1½ cups nuts and 4 cups oats
½ cup olive oil
½ cup honey
½ cup pure maple syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg

Method
Preheat oven to 325. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a large bowl, mix together olive oil, honey, maple syrup, vanilla extract, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg. Mix until all ingredients are evenly distributed. Pour in oats (or oats and nuts) all at once and stir until all ingredients are combined and everything is well coated. Pour oat mixture onto pan and spread evenly. Place in oven and bake for 40 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes. Granola will begin turning golden brown, but will not be crispy.. When it is golden brown, remove from oven and allow to cool on pan. As the granola cools, it becomes crispy.

Eat plain by the handful or serve as cereal or as a topping for yogurt.

Printable recipe

More blessings from God than in this bowl.

Pandamania Vacation Bible School: Healthier Snacks

I was politely asked to be the snack coordinator this year.  I assumed it meant that I would source food and prep it for Pandamania Vacation Bible School.  I happily agreed (because it was a job I felt I could do easily) and later found out that snacks for this VBS related very specifically to the theme AND it required me to teach one of the "stations."  Add on top of that I had to modify for several allergies in the group, namely egg, dairy, nuts, and some fruits.  Fortunately Group's VBS material provided exactly what snacks they wanted, a script for me to present the snack and even key plans on how to prepare the snack.  The other key was that the snack needed to be simple enough that the kids, ages 4 to 12 could prepare on their own.  (We went for a different approach from the Group recommendation of having a snack crew.)

But I wasn't happy with the snacks.  Many of them relied on a lot of processed foods and overly sugary things.  As our VBS was late in the evening, I didn't really like the thought of filling the kids up with all the sugar late in the evening and sending them home.  I asked the coordinator if I could modify the snacks and she gave me free rein as long as I kept the snacks in line with the theme.  With the green light, I took the challenge.

Friends at church jokingly referred to this as my first "restaurant" opening.  When they said THAT, I got all motivated to come up with a name for my restaurant and create decoration.  With the help of many (Thanks Project 180 and JJ and everyone else), this was the actual space where the kids ate their snacks and I taught a brief lesson in connection with the snack.

Day 1:  God made me.

Snack:  Maker Mix

This was a simple modification for me.  The most important thing was having all the elements for the different things God created.  Our maker mix had - goldfish, cinnamon chex, chocolate chex, and rice chex, Annie's bunnies, dried blueberries, dried cranberries and yogurt covered raisins.  Then I taught the lesson based on the following:
Blueberries -sky
Cranberries - beautiful flowers
Chex - the ground and the earth
Yogurt covered raisins - clouds
Annie's Bunnies - animals of the earth
Goldfish - the animals of the sea

For our allergic kids, I prepared a few bowls of allergy friendly mix.  I carefully mixed theirs first to avoid cross contamination.  (Rice and Cinnamon Chex, and Annie's are dairy and egg free)

Day 2: God listens to you.
Snack:  Elijah's Altar

This is one snack I went totally away from Group's recommendation.  They wanted cupcakes, blue frosting and red hots.  I decided to do something far less sugary and processed and went with rice cakes, topped with a bit of cream cheese, strawberries and blueberries and drizzled with honey.  This was absolutely a huge hit with the kids and the adults alike.  People were amazed at the simplicity of the ingredients and how great they tasted together.

Rice Cake - altar
Blueberries - water
Strawberries - fire

I used squeeze bottles like these to put the honey so the kids could squirt honey on top of their rice cake.

Day 3: God watches over you.

Snack:  Fish Food

I made the most minor modification to this one - I simply exchanged the "cheese from a can" with cream cheese.  The triangle crackers were hard for me to find, so I went with a plain tortilla chip.  The kids liked the Quaker Quakes rice cakes (a bit too much in my opinion) and it made them a bit thirstier than I would have liked.  But they ate up the grapes and the crackers.  

Day 4: God loves you, no matter what.

Snack:  Cross of Life

This is another snack where I went completely away from the curriculum. The curriculum wanted the chocolate covered pretzels, with sprinkles, which just didn't sit well with me.  I decided to go vegetable sticks so that the kids could make their cross on their plates, but not necessarily keep them "glued together."  They were given a few seconds to arrange their food and then they were able to eat vegetables sticks, pretzel sticks, and cheddar cheese sticks.  I also made spinach dip for the kids and it was a huge hit as well.

Day 5: God gives good gifts.
Snack:  Sweet Gifts


This snack was slightly modified from the curriculum.  I loved the layering and I just decided to get rid of the things that I thought were processed and replace them with other things.  I decided instead of the graham cracker crumbs to do granola.  I went with a very thick and wonderful Fage non-fat Greek yogurt, which just has this amazingly thick, almost ice cream like texture and did not use any whipped topping, and instead just used honey.  I also went with fresh blueberries and sliced strawberries instead of the frozen ones.  If cost is an issue, and you find the frozen cheaper, by all means go ahead and use them.

I made the granola homemade but you can certainly buy granola.  However, granola often has nuts, dairy, soy and other ingredients that can cause problems for kids with allergies, so I opted to make my own.  (It has few ingredients and was super yummy - recipe here.)

Fresh Blueberries- God's daily blessing
Honey - God's special gift to Hannah

If you have any questions, or if I can make your Pandamania snack experience any easier, don't hesitate to comment or email. Happy healthy eats at VBS everyone!

Green Tea Bundt Cake Soaked with Green Tea Syrup: Sweeter moments

Daughter #2 has historically been very different from Daughter #1.  Where Daughter #1 has confidence and "swagger" if you will, Daughter #2 has been far more timid and shy in all aspects of her life.  During her first year of preschool, she never said a single word to her teacher.  They communicated with her by asking yes or no questions to which she would nod or shake her head.  She talked to her friends but never to adults.  She also had a fear of change, new experiences and the unknown.  It was hard for me to watch as a mother, but even more difficult for me because I saw those things as coming directly from me; she was very much how I was at her age.

However, I decided that I would give her different opportunities to challenge herself and put her in situations that would force her to develop some of the survival skills I felt that she needed.  This summer, instead of signing her up for a camp with all of her preschool friends, I decided to send her where she knew no one, so she'd be forced to really struggle and try and do something outside of her comfort zone.  I was sending her to a camp that she had attended last year so it wasn't completely unfamiliar; it would just have unfamiliar campers.  I didn't tell her what she was doing too far in advance but over the weekend I mentioned that she'd be attending and immediately I noticed the look of worry and anxiety cross her face.  I braced myself for the hysterics that would follow and they inevitably came.  I gently reassured her and told her she'd be fine, and then I pulled out my secret weapon - BRIBE.  (note to Husband: should you want me to do something very much against my wishes, you might want to dangle a bribe in front of me.)  I promised that if she could make it through two weeks of the camp without crying, I'd have a special prize (ahem...book) for her at the end that she could enjoy.  She pondered this and then seemed to be satisfied.

However, this morning, as we prepared ourselves getting ready, I felt her anxiety and worry about camp.  I gently prodded her to get ready and everything was met with a whine and a total reluctance to do things.  I kept prodding and she kept resisting and finally we were in the car on the way to camp.  Her brows were furrowed, her little lips were quivering and her body language definitely was one of I don't want to go.  I kept my tone bright and then she suddenly blurted out, "I want my prize today!"

"You can't have it today.  You have to do 2 weeks of camp with no crying."

"Can I have SOMETHING today?" she countered.

"Okay.  The Hello Kitty tattoos you've wanted can be yours today."

"All right mommy."

As we walked into the waiting area, I braced myself for the tearful goodbye, the reluctant departure, the fitful sobs, but none of it happened.  She walked in, saw a station she was interested in and walked over and began to color with a counselor.  I was so stunned and shocked I almost sat down in the middle of the room. The lead counselor recognized her (because how do you not remember the kid who cried for hours on end for three weeks the year before?) and said, "She's so different now since she's older."

And that was it.  She's growing up.  Her maturity has won over her babyhood.  And I'm a bit sad and almost longing for the cries that she used to shed as the lack of them means she's growing up.  But the other part of me is so thrilled that she handled her challenge and handled it very well.  At pick up, the counselor commented that she had already gotten her citizen point for the week by "showing friendship."  And I puffed my chest out a bit at Daughter #2's accomplishment, because I know that at her age, I could not have done it myself.

Ah so sweet.  Sweeter than sweet.  I decided that I should post a sweeter than the non-syrup green tea bundt cake.  It DOES change how it looks as the cake takes on a slightly interesting (someone called it ghastly actually) green hue, but I find it more striking than horrible.  The inside is bright green (the intensity of the green on the inside depends on what kind of matcha powder you are using) and the flavor is sweeter than the original green tea bundt I posted.  Depending on your personal preference, you can decide if you want to go with the syrup or go plain.

Green Tea Bundt Cake Soaked in Green Tea Syrup
Makes 10-inch bundt cake, serving 12 to 14

Ingredients
Cake
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons matcha powder (available at your local Asian or Japanese Supermarket)
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream

Green Tea Syrup
⅔ cup of sugar
⅔ cup of water
1 tablespoon matcha powder

Method
Place rack in center of oven, and preheat oven to 350. Grease and lightly flour inside of 10 inch bundt pan.

Whisk together flour, matcha powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Set aside.

Using either a stand mixer (paddle attachment) or a hand mixer, beat the butter at medium speed until creamy, about 2 minutes. Gradually add sugar and beat at medium-high speed until the mixture is light in texture and color, about 3 minutes. Beat in eggs one at a time, beating for 30 to 40 seconds after each addition. Scrape down sides of bowl as necessary. Beat in vanilla extract. At low speed, add flour mixture in three additions, alternating with sour cream. (Add a bit of flour, a bit of sour cream, a bit of flour, a bit of sour cream, a bit of flour.)

Scoop batter into pan and spread evenly with spatula.

Bake cake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a tooth pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool the cake in the pan on a cooling rack for 10 minutes, then invert it onto another rack.

While cake is baking, make syrup. Combine sugar, water and matcha powder in a small non reactive saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Using a pastry brush, dab syrup generously all over surface of the warm cake, allowing it to soak into the cake before reapplying. Let the cake cool completely.

Printable recipe

tried a sprinkling of powdered sugar to help overcome the green color

sliced open

found this matcha powder at my local Chinese and Japanese markets...about $8

the fabulous bundt pan I love

Spaghettini with Spinach, Garlic, and Lemon: When tempers flare

Son has really been pushing every single one of my buttons these past few months.  He has become one of the most persnickety, picky, anal, difficult people I can imagine and I am NOT good at dealing with his massive swings of hyper spaz-isms.  In recent weeks, he gets completely, unreasonably, outrageously worked up about his....clothes.

Now, if you know me, and those who know me well know this - I do NOT get worked up about clothes.  I do everything I can to not have to think about what I'm wearing, which means I wear my "uniform" and I keep things very very very simple.  I don't want to fuss over my outfit, thinking about what looks hip or even bother with keeping in fashion.  Mostly I just want clothes to make me feel comfortable, cover all the vital parts, and allow me to move in anyway I need to move.  BUT Son is cut of entirely different cloth. (I'll interject right here that he's his father's Son and not mine, and you can draw your own conclusions.)  He has only CERTAIN things he wants to wear, and even with a drawer full of different tshirts and shorts (many many hand-me-down items) he'll search for the one thing that he wore the day before that is currently rotting in the laundry basket.  When he can't find it, he'll throw all of his other clothes from the drawer onto the floor in his quest to find it and it drives me bonkers.

This morning he asked me to help him dress for church and I got pretty excited thinking that he'd wear something I chose for him.  As I casually chatted with him about the schedule for the day, he noticed what I had put on him and he flipped out.  The whines led to cries, which lead to screams and yelling and I just walked out of the room.  I said, "Dress yourself.  I'm not helping a boy who doesn't want my help."  For about 10 minutes he sat and yelped and yelled for MOMMY and I didn't budge.  I had had it  and I was done.  Finally, somehow he managed to dress himself after I started the engine of the car to go to church and he got his act together.

This afternoon was another series of tantrums over his clothes after his swim lesson (which he cried and had a fit at as well - so you can tell I was not in a good mood.)  I brought him home, told him that I didn't want to see him for a while and shut the door of my bedroom and lay down on the bed.  Daughters figured out that Mommy was not in a good place so THEY went into their own room and shut the door and worked on their own project.  (Lovely daughters - their project was cleaning up and organizing their bookshelves which is something I've been asking them to do repeatedly.)  Son meanwhile decided to lie on the floor in front of my bedroom door and cry and wail projecting the sound of his cries into my room.  I could hear every single sniffle, every single wail, every single whine from my spot on the bed, but I just let him go...for a long long while.  Finally he grew quiet and I heard drawers of his room opening and closing.  He quietly knocked on my door and showed up with a smile on his face and the EXACT outfit I had put him in the morning which he had rejected.  I literally had to bite my fist in order to stop screaming in frustration.  

"Hi Mommy. I'm happy now."

"All the crying made you happy?"  I asked.

"I like to cry.  I'm happy now.  See?  I like these clothes.  I'm happy now."  He started giggling and laughing.

I smiled at him and said, "Someone needs to say sorry to Mommy."  

"I'm sorry mommy.  I'm happy."

It sure was a lot of noise to get him to his happy place.  I'm not sure I did it the right way, but it was the best that I could manage given the day I was having.

When I am hit with these hard hard days I don't even feel like cooking.  I feel like leaving the house altogether and seeing what happens.  As I have no wish for CPS to be called on me, I force myself to refocus and try and do something for dinner.  This dish is my simple simple dinner that really doesn't require much and I came up with based on what was left in my fridge.  It was delicious, and the kids gobbled it down, including picky son who managed to smear it all over his favorite tshirt.  He didn't have a fit though because he was too happy eating his noodles.

Spaghettini with Spinach, Garlic and Lemon
Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients
1 lb spaghettini, angel hair or spaghetti pasta

6 tablespoons olive oil
8 garlic cloves, crushed or minced
zest of one lemon
juice of one lemon
10 oz bag of baby spinach
salt and pepper to taste

Method
In a skillet heat, 6 tablespoons olive oil over medium low heat. Add garlic and cook for 10 to 12 minutes to gently cook the garlic.  Add lemon zest and lemon juice. Season with salt and pepper.

Bring a large pot of well salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook according to package directions. Drain pasta well and transfer to a large bowl. Immediately add spinach and garlic lemon oil and toss everything together. Mound the pasta on a large platter and serve.

Printable recipe

Serve with rotisserie chicken.  Ahhh...mommy's happy now too.

Chocolate Bundt Cake Soaked in Coffee Syrup: I wanna hold your hand

For Husband: I'd still say yes.

June 30th will be the 10th wedding anniversary for Husband and me.  It's hard to imagine that it's already been 10 years, but when I think about what we've done during the 10 years, it's even harder to believe that we've survived our marriage without killing each other.  Within those 10 years have been 3 international moves, 3 kids, 3 different job changes, and more than 3 arguments and fights.  10 years is almost not enough time for all of those things to happen.  I know God's grace has kept us together all of these years.

Once again, it is an anniversary where Husband and I will be separated. If I had known that 8 out of 10 anniversaries would have been spent apart, I would have been married on a different day. (There is always some sort of conference that encompasses June 30th, so he is never around.)  I'm pretty used to it though, and not hurt by it because after all, it is only a DAY and we should we celebrating the joys of our marriage daily, not just on our wedding day.  I contemplated celebrating it by spending it alone, without the kids, but that seemed somewhat counter intuitive.

But as it is our 10th anniversary, Husband has decided that he wants to get me something rather nice for this one.  He continually asks, "What should I get you?  Watch?  Ring?  Necklace?  Jewelry?  Diamonds?" and to his question, I really didn't have any answer.  I'd tried thinking about what might be something I might really enjoy or want and keep drawing a blank.

Until after we finalized the purchase of our home, and then I decided I wanted LANDSCAPING.  I want to fix the exterior of the house (since the interior is going to be a series of crazy different projects if I can get my head around them and IF we decide it's worth the discomfort of going through a remodel) and clean up the yard, add some more concrete, create a lovely patio and do all of these things.  I also thought a garden full of flowers that I love (peonies, dahlias, ranunculus) and a vegetable garden growing some Korean vegetables would be like the anniversary present that keeps giving!  Husband hates buying flowers that die, so planting some in a yard would be like forever flowers forever!  Right?

WRONG.  The murmurs of outrage I heard from various people, INCLUDING HUSBAND were disheartening and bubble popping.  Most of the girlfriends advised me that if we ever SOLD the house, then the 10th anniversary present would essentially be gone.  I kept on arguing that I'd have the pictures of it, and the memory of it but they told me it needs to be something for me.  I'm very practical and thought that landscaping would be a way for me to get something I really want and also something for the house at the same time. Husband told me he'd rather buy something for ME and not for the house, as he doesn't really see the house as the place he'd want to invest right now.  Truthfully, I wasn't thinking about the landscaping as any sort of investment, but was simply rather just thinking about it as something I wanted.  Investment?  What's that?

And in the end, I'm really back at square one with nothing that I want, except maybe to sit with Husband together, and make this cake for him and hold his hand on our anniversary.  I know he'd love the moist texture of the cake, the flavor of the cake and the coffee glaze with its simultaneous sweetness and bitterness would be just the perfect finish for him.  And I'd watch him eat it, hold his hand and that would be my perfect gift.  Since that isn't going to happen.  I'm back at square one.  And I'm still thinking of what I'd like to receive.

Happy Anniversary Husband!  This one is for you!  Love you forever.

Chocolate Bundt Cake Soaked with Coffee Syrup
Makes 10-inch bundt cake, serving 12 to 14

Cake
Ingredients
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup cocoa powder (I used Hersheys Special Dark which gives the cake a super dark color, but any other good quality cocoa powder will be fine.)
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs, room temperature
2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream

Coffee Syrup
⅔ cups granulated sugar
⅓ cup water
2 or 3 tablespoons instant coffee (depending on what kind you have, how strong you like coffee - adjust according to your taste.)

Method
Place rack in center of oven, and preheat oven to 350. Grease and lightly flour inside of 10 inch bundt pan.

Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Set aside.

Using either a stand mixer (paddle attachment) or a hand mixer, beat the butter at medium speed until creamy, about 2 minutes. Gradually add sugar and beat at medium-high speed until the mixture is light in texture and color, about 3 minutes. Beat in eggs one at a time, beating for 30 to 40 seconds after each addition. Scrape down sides of bowl as necessary. Beat in vanilla extract. At low speed, add flour mixture in three additions, alternating with sour cream. (Add a bit of flour, a bit of sour cream, a bit of flour, a bit of sour cream, a bit of flour.)

Scoop batter into pan and spread evenly with spatula.

Bake cake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a tooth pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool the cake in the pan on a cooling rack for 10 minutes, then invert it onto another rack.

While cake is baking, make syrup. Combine sugar, water and coffee in a small saucepan. Mix to allow coffee to dissolve. Cook over medium heat, stirring until sugar dissolves, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Using a pastry brush, dab syrup generously all over surface of the warm cake, allowing it to soak into the cake before reapplying. Let the cake cool completely.

Printable recipe

the bundt pan I use and love














cocoa powder I used...and a decent price (but you need to buy a LOT of it.)